Float.

Why am I in this room now? When did I arrive?
My hands are shaking too loudly to know.

Oh yea…my hair bands. I try twenty times, and I’m running out of time. 

My bun is now a startled peacock.
She likes peacocks though.
I hope she likes me.

The mirror looks at me and we laugh.

My engine dies, so does time.
I park on your curb.
You tell me I can’t park there. I’m already parked here.
Your eyes smirk and roll.
You point me to your lawn.

You say you’ll be ready soon…
I hope not.
I’m not ready.

I walk circles inside your gazebo.
Your plants stand guard. I disappear into your warm lights, holding me…

You return, your floral bikini wearing you.
It’s time.

I can’t wait to leave.

Your car is a mess, and I’m the cleanest I’ve ever felt. 

You speed, and swerve, and recklessly scream. A piece of peace you give to me.
Finally I can breathe.
Each breath more trust. More life. More terror.

Your windows down, I reach for air, and let it drive my hand. Salt pelting each digit. Waves reflect beneath us as you surf them in your car. Wave after wave.
I swear, you can drive us off the bridge… I’ll laugh with your seatbelt strapped to me.

There’s our spot, right up front, impatiently waiting. 

I have no idea where we’re headed.
You’re my only map.

You spot every overlooked shell under your feet. The water is so near. I take off my shirt, and leave my wallet, and my phone, and my keys. I throw my sunglasses near them as my yoga pants drive me head first into the ocean.
A race you don’t know we’re having. 

You rant and curse, the sunset behind you.
Surfacing a smile I scramble to hide. 
You find more and more treasures on the sea bed only you can see.
I feel something alien brush my leg, and I hope it’s yours.

We’re great swimmers, now I can hardly tread. Gasping for more, just a bit more.
…and then, with sun in slumber, we begin to float….

For the longest second…I hold you as my watch dies.

…dolphins far in the depths as we float to meet them.
…floating, floating. Bare under the moon, who’s too afraid to watch. 

You drape your towel around my shoulders, reminding me I’m wet.
You lead the way home. 

I leave my sunglasses, my gift for the sand. 

You park, leaving us back at your painted spot.

Still no clocks in sight, none that I can clock.
We listen to the crickets bring us silence.
The flower you seek, hiding behind me.
Waiting, for you.

Your armor flinches.
Still deflecting.
Desperately deflecting.
Giddy, and excited, and alive. 
Your real smile slips.
For once.
Your real smile.

Your childish excitement, with hints of defiance.
You soften. You stand low.
The one trade we must make. Never more difficult…

You must receive the flower you seek. That’s the whole deal.

You struggle. You squirm.
You fight it…you couldn’t possibly!
I won't waver. That’s our deal.

Finally, finally, finally…you accept…

Your gift to me.

You hug me tightly. Real hugs…again, and just once more.

Still wet, my car drags me home.
My feet adorned with your sand.

I could have died, fully alive…
But…maybe just one more time?

I hope so.

--Drew 🪷